Hi guys, Ganymede here!!!
To start things off, my top 20 science jokes, aside from the ones I've already told you people (in no strict order, I love them all!):
1.) Have you heard the one about the sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you'll probably have to barium.
2.)An ion meets his atom friend on the street and says he's lost an electron. "Are you sure?" asks the atom. The ion replies, "I'm positive."
3.) How do you know the moon is broke? Its down to its last quarter.
4.) Why can't you trust atoms? they make up everything
5.) Where does bad light end up? In prism.
6.) what does a subatomic duck say? Quark.
7.) Why did the bear dissolve in water? it was polar
8.) what did one sister chromatid say to the other? Stop copying me!!!
9.) Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos.
10.) Why does a burger have less energy than a steak? it's in it's ground state. (Katherine, you should get this
11.)Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?A: Sherlock Ohms
12.) Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."
13.)Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAg
14.)Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar? A: An Algorithm
15.) Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg!
16.) What is a cation afraid of? a dogion!
17.)Why did the bear dissolve in water? It was polar
18.) The optimist sees the glass as half full. the pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The engineer sees the glass twice as large as it needs to be.
19.) A logician's wife gives birth to a baby. As soon as the child is born, the doctor hands it to the father. The wife impatiently asks, "Is it a boy or a girl?" the logician answers, "Yes."
20.)Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding. The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!" The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 108 miles per hour!" Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now we're lost!" The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies. The cop opens the trunk and yells "Hey! This cat is dead." Schrödinger angrily replies, "Well he is now."
21.)AND! One of my own jokes: What did the oak say to the lying pine? That's not tree! Get it? Tree, instead of true! HAHA HA HA HA...I'm not good with jokes if they don't have to do with STEM.
Chapter 1
I look at the serene, cobalt screen in front of me. I can't do this. I can't. But I know that if I don't, many of my people will be killed. To protect the people back home, I'll have to kill the humans. But I can't. They're so helpless, even though they think they're so advanced and all that. They think they're the only ones out there. In Space, I mean. On Scarlet Nebula 14, in the Tri-Gallorian Galaxy, stardate 2030. The humans. Horrible, stupid creatures. They're close to discovering my peaceful planet. I can't let them. But I can't hurt them either. However, the humans...I'm sure they will try to take over, they're so power hungry. My people come first though. We have no weapons. Ayorthins never needed any. We don't fight or kill. I look at my reflection on the huge, glass window, slightly tinted blue, with small touch screen captions. A bit of what the humans call a projected computer apparatus. Here, we call it a quark. Very useful. I stare at the tall, dark green skinned creature looking right at me. I brush back my hair and sigh. I won’t be Lorkitaah, ruler of Scarlet Nebula 14, much longer. I will be a U.S.S. citizen. I press my hand against the blue screen and white lines wirr around my body. In a few seconds, I am looking at a similar version of my hair. The same white hair, black eyes, but no green skin. I could pass for a human, I think. I will. I must.
-Lorkitaah
Facts of the day:
MARS
Snow on Mars: carbon dioxide ice; can be destroyed by UV rays
when UV rays break down water, hydrogen shoots out into space; water can’t reform
water on Mars is subsurface; MPR: SEA LEVEL ON MARS
very thin atmosphere
53% diameter of Earth
Less mass=less gravitational force
Carbon dioxide is heavy enough to stay on Mars
In Summer, dust changes rock features
Active layer of Mars: glaciers; caused by melting and freezing, ice moves
North and South Polar ice caps: can drop to -238 F, mostly water ice
Phoenix Mars Lander(2008): Searched for water
Snow created by equatorial glaciers and snowfall from polar regions.A few million years ago, Mars had a different tilt; polar ice caps released water vapor, cooled into snow
VENUS
not hospitable; 870 degrees; atmosphere of CO2 and sulfuric acid
acid rain; brightest planet
Tallest mountain:7 miles
MOST POWERFUL SOLAR STORM: CARRINGTON EVENT
Triton: moon of Saturn Permafrost: groundwater Iapetus: 3rd largest moon of Saturn; 11th largest moon in solar system
Europa: moon of Jupiter
Europa has an ice ocean; the way Europa spins tells that it has slurry center
Slurry: mix of ice and rock; like mud; heated by tidal interactions
Moons of Jupiter gather energy from tidal heating (from gravity;)
SATURN
Titan: Moon of Saturn (2nd largest planet) has lakes of methane
Rings: 66 feet altogether; every 30 years a great white spot appears
Triton: moon of Neptune
Moons of Jupiter w/ Orbits in days : Io (1.8, very hot, gets pushed and pulled by the celestial bodies next to it) , Europa:(3.6), Ganymede(7.2), Callisto(16.8) Ellipse: oval orbit
Our Moon
Moon takes a moth around the Earth
Water controlled by moon pulling on Earth
Water under surface, or UV radiation would burn it
238,855 miles away from Earth
thought to be made of iron,rock,magnesium,silicon,oxygen and more
Gibbous between full and half in Moon ; moves away from Earth 1.6 inches a year
Moon revolves and rotates in counter-clockwise orbit every 27.5 days
THANKS!!!
-Ganymede